I've been really feeling down about my time online and especially with my interactions with social media :/ I've been stalked, harassed and have had success in some posts- which alway made me super overwhelmed. Every notification made me want to delete my accounts and just turn off my phone. This happened recently on Twitter 2x in one day and I turned my phone off, stayed in my apartment and started coding my website to get away from it. None of it was hate but none of it really made me happy to see, and after leaving the entertainment industry last month for a hiatus, I was already super overwhelmed by my new retail job. I have a hard time posting if I know that it could be taken out of context, won't gain traction or if it might even bring too much traction. I'm tired of being really concerned about follower counts even when that didn't really matter to me before this year? It sucks. I feel a lot more comfortable typing my thoughts and coding over here than I ever felt comfortable doomscrolling. Now when my friends ask what I'm up to I usually say I'm coding my website or I'm rewatching media I actually enjoy instead of sitting in the dread of "why am I not as well liked as my mutuals/friends?". Being friends and even dating really well liked and followed artists will do that sigh. Today I'm really excited to hang out with my friend "W" after I'm done writing this out, watching EverymanHYBRID with my partner who's never seen it before again tonight and I was so so excited to learn that my Vincent Whittman standee from SilentZound had shipped!! Everytime a code works on here that I experimentally put in, or I source free use ones that are incredibly fitting, I get so much more excited. A lot of these pages I'm making that branch off of my homepage are pretty bare bones but I know with some time I'll keep learning html to where I'm not constantly searching for templates or snippets. Anyway. My partner is at the library drawing some stuff, and I'll probably be at my friend's before he gets back :[ but I am super excited I have a friend here. I only recently moved up to Washington in late June from Oklahoma- and I did a suitcase move with my cat. Absolutely everything I have on me is what could fit on the plane and I only have a few things with certain friends to hold onto until I can ship them out here for one reason or another. I really miss my best friend Nick, he's referenced on my homepage in quotes with a inside joke I've had since I was little. I'm hoping to get him to fly and visit me when we have the funds. My goal is to update and hopefully build up this blog page over time, and hopefully it helps visitors get to know me a little better. xoxo okay bye